From the beginning of time, women have punished for sexuality and confidence, whilst men have been rewarded and admired for theirs. Words like harlot, heathen, slut have all been used to try to dampen the spirits of women for having feelings and expressing natural urges and desires. This ends now.
The matter of consent is the main central discussion that needs to be kept in the middle of this post. Women are shamed for being modest and shamed for being sexy. There is literally no winning in the patriarchy because the patriarchy does not understand the concept of consent. If a woman chooses to wear modest clothing, that is her decision and she should not be judged. If a woman chooses to wear revealing clothing, that is her decision and she should not be judged.
“Leave things to the imagination” they say. Unfortunately, saying that implies that your body and your sexuality is up for their consumption. It implies that the only time you can be open about your appearance is when someone else imagines it. No! The main concept of bodily autonomy is that what is yours is yours.
Recently, I was messaged by a relative, saying that my latest post on Instagram (which involved me in a selfie with a low cut shirt) was inappropriate. That relative told me I was half dressed and that I shouldn’t be putting up images like that. Why? Because my shoulders and cleavage were on display? As if no other person on this planet possibly possesses those exact same body parts. I was told that I was “pretty and smart” and that I didn’t “need to look sexy for Instagram”. No you’re absolutely right, I am pretty and smart. I didn’t have to do anything for Instagram. I did it because I wanted to, because I felt confident and because I looked pretty damn hot.
In this day and age, if a cleavage photo bothers you, then you really should adapt your views to the times. If a boy had posted the same photo I did, there would no concern. Why is it only problematic if I do it? Should I cover up and hide myself forever? Does that mean I should never show anyone anything? Why does my perceived nudity alter my intelligence and beauty?
Women are multi-faceted human beings and honestly our appearance and sexual expression in no way should jeopardise our character and our reputation. Get over yourselves, it’s the 21st century!
There are so many more problems to be concerned with than a young woman who is confident with her body. And please use that time that you had recently devoted to sexism and slut-shaming to do something productive and positive.
We are not your babes, we are not your toys. Grow the hell up.
