Self Care Extraordinaire

Hello Dear Readers

I am back from my five month blogging break and I am ready to share all of my little tidbits with you on this wonderful website. 

Let me be frank, 2017 was not a good year for me. I didn’t keep up with my mental health, I had a few moments of absolute madness and I had some very testing moments. I was not in the best headspace, which meant that I acted out against the people around me. I also didn’t really take care of myself. Despite my health kick that started in April 2017, which continues to be wonderful for my overall well-being, I seemed to be letting myself fall into a trap of not doing much about well...myself. 

So this year, I decided to start with my very own self titled self care extravaganza. It has been fruitful so far. I have been making sure to leave some time for myself to read a book I like, use some beauty products that I like, eat colourful vegetables everyday etc... Now despite the superficial nature of my newfound self care regiment, I have found that these three months of self awareness have really benefited me. 

Firstly, I am slowly but surely falling in love with myself and my own company. I used to be afraid of spending some time alone and I used to panic about sounding weird when I discussed myself in a positive light but that is a thing of the past. Giving myself some time to appreciate and acknowledge all of my quirks and flaws has made it a lot easier to accept myself. Not every day is a success story on the self love front but I am working towards making every day a success story on the acceptance front. After all, learning to love yourself and understand your worth is vital for your life. 

Secondly, I am investing more time in the community and in speaking to people. I was very closed off before, introverted to the point where any communication was unwelcome. But now, I try to have little chats with people I encounter that aren’t necessarily my friends. It’s been very eye opening for me to hear what people have to say and what they believe, especially for someone who considers themselves to be a humanitarian inclined person. I’ve also started to donate more of my time to a specific charitable organisation, getting involved in this organisation has really improved my overall sense of self and awareness and has opened my heart to a whole new range of people. If there is one advice I can share, give back, give back, give back. Not only does it improve the community and lives around you, it grows and gives meaning to your soul and your life. 

Thirdly, I am no longer apologising for the way that I am. I used to cower away when someone would probe me about something that I like or believe in. Not anymore. If 2017 has taught us anything as a collective is that silence is an undeniable, irrefutable crime. I will write, I will sing, I will read what I want, when I want and how much I want. Anyone who has a negative opinion, is not important in the bigger scheme of things. You do you baby, why waste your time with something that doesn’t benefit your heart? 

So, let’s see where this journey of self love takes me. Hopefully to a good place, where I am able to give back all of the love that I radiate in myself. 

I leave you with a few words of encouragement, do whatever it is that makes you happy, don’t apologise for being yourself and remember this is a long process, not a quick fix. 

You and I may be able to say, at this time next year, that we have come far in our journey of self love and acceptance. Until then, dear reader, be good and be kind. 

Love always 

Mila 

(Email me your self love story and/or tips at mila.brkic14@gmail.com or anything else you would like to talk about, all communication is welcome) 

Growing Up - Foreign

Recently I was sitting with a group of my friends and discussing the poignant topic of culture. I listened to them, speaking about who they were from a cultural standpoint, understanding and knowing their roots and feeling deep connections within their ancestry. It was at this point that I decided to write a piece about my own experience with that poignant topic - culture. 

My parents arrived from Yugoslavia in the early 90s, escaping civil war and attempting to settle in the recently (legally) liberated South Africa. After leaving Yugoslavia (now Serbia), they learnt a new language and adapted to new cultural norms and practices. Then I was born. 

My first language was Serbian but at the age of three, I learned English at my private primary school, which in the eyes of many, is the most basic form of privilege (I agree, it was). It was at this point that my cultural identity began to morph into a sort of hybrid, half-South African, half-Serbian.

Throughout my early years, I never really related to any of my friends when they spoke about family gatherings on Sundays or even the simple fact that their parents knew the Afrikaans language. My family was living in Serbia and my parents did not speak Afrikaans. I felt strange, knowing this yet still not fully understanding the nature of my feelings. 

My parents are wonderful people who always put me first. In doing so, we stopped speaking Serbian at home and English was now our primary language. When I meet Serbian people nowadays, they often remark how strange my accent is and how the gaps in my language are deplorable. When I speak to my fellow South Africans, they often ask me where I am from. I was born in Sandton, South Africa but clearly this does not reflect in who I am. 

I often say to myself, I am too South African to be Serbian and to Serbian to be South African. I find home and comfort in neither because I feel separate from both identities. 

Speaking to my own grandparents is difficult, my Eastern European side has practically been depleted from my memory, I speak with a broken language that I can say breaks their heart whenever I utter any words. Yet, I am often told by the people I grew up with, "Oh Mila is Serbian!". 

No, Mila is not. I am not Serbian, I cannot honestly call myself that, I have no cultural roots to that country besides my family. I am not South African, I have no roots here besides my memories of the past. 

It is hard getting by, convincing yourself that you are a citizen of the world when you know in your heart that you are not. It's strange how I feel like an immigrant, in the country of my birth. It's strange how I feel like an immigrant, in the country of my origin. 

These are not often stories that get told but I am glad that I told my experience on this blog today, maybe this will encourage other people to understand how I feel and understand the way that I am. 

As they say in Serbian, "Nema veze, ti si moya zvezda". 

- Mila Brkic