Self Care Extraordinaire

Hello Dear Readers

I am back from my five month blogging break and I am ready to share all of my little tidbits with you on this wonderful website. 

Let me be frank, 2017 was not a good year for me. I didn’t keep up with my mental health, I had a few moments of absolute madness and I had some very testing moments. I was not in the best headspace, which meant that I acted out against the people around me. I also didn’t really take care of myself. Despite my health kick that started in April 2017, which continues to be wonderful for my overall well-being, I seemed to be letting myself fall into a trap of not doing much about well...myself. 

So this year, I decided to start with my very own self titled self care extravaganza. It has been fruitful so far. I have been making sure to leave some time for myself to read a book I like, use some beauty products that I like, eat colourful vegetables everyday etc... Now despite the superficial nature of my newfound self care regiment, I have found that these three months of self awareness have really benefited me. 

Firstly, I am slowly but surely falling in love with myself and my own company. I used to be afraid of spending some time alone and I used to panic about sounding weird when I discussed myself in a positive light but that is a thing of the past. Giving myself some time to appreciate and acknowledge all of my quirks and flaws has made it a lot easier to accept myself. Not every day is a success story on the self love front but I am working towards making every day a success story on the acceptance front. After all, learning to love yourself and understand your worth is vital for your life. 

Secondly, I am investing more time in the community and in speaking to people. I was very closed off before, introverted to the point where any communication was unwelcome. But now, I try to have little chats with people I encounter that aren’t necessarily my friends. It’s been very eye opening for me to hear what people have to say and what they believe, especially for someone who considers themselves to be a humanitarian inclined person. I’ve also started to donate more of my time to a specific charitable organisation, getting involved in this organisation has really improved my overall sense of self and awareness and has opened my heart to a whole new range of people. If there is one advice I can share, give back, give back, give back. Not only does it improve the community and lives around you, it grows and gives meaning to your soul and your life. 

Thirdly, I am no longer apologising for the way that I am. I used to cower away when someone would probe me about something that I like or believe in. Not anymore. If 2017 has taught us anything as a collective is that silence is an undeniable, irrefutable crime. I will write, I will sing, I will read what I want, when I want and how much I want. Anyone who has a negative opinion, is not important in the bigger scheme of things. You do you baby, why waste your time with something that doesn’t benefit your heart? 

So, let’s see where this journey of self love takes me. Hopefully to a good place, where I am able to give back all of the love that I radiate in myself. 

I leave you with a few words of encouragement, do whatever it is that makes you happy, don’t apologise for being yourself and remember this is a long process, not a quick fix. 

You and I may be able to say, at this time next year, that we have come far in our journey of self love and acceptance. Until then, dear reader, be good and be kind. 

Love always 

Mila 

(Email me your self love story and/or tips at mila.brkic14@gmail.com or anything else you would like to talk about, all communication is welcome) 

The Art of Saying No - A Realist's POV

I like to think that in the 21st century, we have grown as a species, meaning that we have found our own truths and assets and have decided to use them throughout our lives. Unfortunately that is not the case, as many people, in this day and age, are still terrified of the prospect of saying "no" to somebody.

As a staunch feminist, I know how the word "no" is sadly not taken very seriously by many people. Whether it be saying no to a creep asking you out or simply not consenting to sleep with someone. A friend of mine, commented a while ago that it's about how the person says no. I was very annoyed with that obviously ignorant statement. I wasted no time in telling him what was wrong with his statement. A firm "no" is exactly what it is. A "no". Meaning, that is not happening, I don't want this, I didn't say that etc... The age old belief of "playing hard to get" is in actual fact, somebody who is not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. Rejection can be tough, of course but dealing with that rejection in a misogynistic, chauvinistic way is wrong and honestly, disgusting.

I love making people happy and it breaks my heart knowing that I've disappointed someone. However, I began thinking about what saying "yes" did for me. Too often, after I've said yes, have I felt exhausted and taken advantage of. For example, someone asking me to do their essay for them because they were very tired or someone asking me to use my lunch break to track down their missing iPad. I'm not saying, "don't be kind". Believe me, having an open heart that gives more than it receives is still an ideal I long to have and an asset I believe I do have. My advice is to be smart when saying "yes".

I came across a quote in a book I was reading, that said something along the lines of "sacrifice is living love". Why? Why is love only deemed acceptable if we practically die showing it? Why is it that love needs to be exhausting and challenging in order to be seems as true? Is it not possible for people to be happy whilst still expressing their love? Writers and artists alike have always reiterated the idea that "love is suffering". Why? Is saying no to a loved one bad? Is it a shameful thing to do? Once again, I'm not saying, "don't be kind". I'm saying, "think about why you are saying yes".


There is a fine line between selfishness and self-preservation. Most of us do not succeed in never crossing into either terrains. Being human means making mistakes. Being human also means learning from them. So my advice to you is, give at your heart's content but don't forget about yourself in the process.


-Mila Brkic